Comedy Writing Prompts

Heaven and Hell are actually both afterlife luxury locations who compete for your membership when you die. The only reason we view hell as evil is good marketing.

You are a werehuman. But you are not a wolf that turn into a human on full moon. You are a regular human who, on a full moon, turns into a way stronger, very angry and hyper-aggressive version of yourself. It is even harder to explain than being a werewolf.

After you, as a superhero, decided to reveal publicly your secret identity, your high school days bully decided to turn criminal since he could beat you. It genuinely doesn't occur to him that you were faking taking his beating way back then.

You just found out you’re a superhuman. You have everything that comes with that, super strength, speed, and the ability to not need to eat or sleep. This is good until your friends start realizing you haven’t eaten in a while, causing them to have a surprise intervention.

"I spent three months meditating in the woods before i got my Druidic abilities," "oh, i was just watering my plants one day and one of them told me my hat was stupid"

"The bioweapon we unleashed upon the humans has been a total failure, sir." "What?! Did they already exterminate it?" "No sir, they pacified them and are now keeping them as pets."

"I challenge you to a duel, sir! Pick your weapon and make your peace, for I have trained under the greatest weapon masters in-" "Fisticuffs." "...W-what?" "FISTICUFFS."

"Yes, but just because I *can* crack reality open like an egg and reign as a galactic conquerer doesn't mean that I *want* to. I want to be the silly nemesis of a street level hero"

"Any spell can be enhanced by saying the incantation and waiting to use it. The longer you wait, the stronger it gets." You prepared a Fireball immediately upon hearing this, and 20 years later you accidentally release it.

You've just burned down an entire town, killed almost everyone inside of it, and stole everything of value from it. A little girl runs up to you and says, "Wow, you're such a hero! I want to be just like you when I grow up!"

The King of Darkness has died to a sudden illness. His lackeys are tearing his realm apart in a massive anarchic free-for-all. The Heroes are now sent to his castle - not to kill him, but to find and actually bother to read his will.

Your secret identity has been found out by the villain, instead of using it against you, the villain goes to your Hero Association and files a case against them for "Child Endangerment" due to the fact that you are 12.

"You should be aware that casting this spell will legally require me to take your firstborn child" said the Witch, "but the meaning of 'take' was never defined, so I imagine we can figure out a loophole or two that'd work for you."

After a superhero destroyed your home and killed your family during a fight you swore you would have your vengeance and destroy the heroes once and for all. You may only be a rat but that is not going to stop you.

"Don't worry, I've got a guy." You're the guy everyone's got.

Alarms blare throughout the facility. Screams and gunshots echo through the halls. The rookie scientists around you are in panic. You sip your coffee at the breakroom table in peace, "just another tuesday." You state calmy.

At the age of 16 all witches are assigned a familiar. You are excited for yours as you see your friends turn 16 and get theirs. Cats, Crows, spiders. You are devastated to find out that out your 16th birthday, your familiar is a 27 year old hipster named Frank.

"Listen. Those dishes need to be washed, these lights need to be kept on and these bills gotta be paid. I don't care if I'm the only one able to defeat the big bad guy- I'm not working for free."

“Let me get this straight. I, a Fae, have spent LITERAL CENTURIES studying the subtle arts of deception, glamour, deceit, and misdirection, and you, a mere human, can just stand there and say things that are untrue?!” “Yeah, that’s about right.”

"You're doing gods work," the angel said while handing you a cease & desist letter, "we demand that you stop."

You're a superhero's sidekick. But he doesn't pay you, so you're also moonlighting as the minion of a supervillain your hero never faces. Until one day, he does.

"I can fix her" said the delusional computer scientist staring at the genocidal sentient super computer.

Everyone has a number above their head showing the number of writing prompts they've read about numbers above people's heads.

"But before we start this video, only 99.99% of people watching right now are subscribed, so please consider subscribing. Bob, please just Sub. You are literally the only one who isn't."

A group of elves is chatting on the table next to you in their native tongue, and the entire party is staring at the ranger who studied elvish. Veins bulging, jaw clenched, fist tighten around the mug he is holding, and face all red as he desperately tries to not explode into laughter.

Some pedestrian ran out in front of your truck, and you hit him. So why, now, are you and your shitbox Ford in a strange stone and wood town, with a fox-person yelling into the passenger window directions on how to kill the King of the Liches? Well, at least the fuel gauge is stuck on full.

The thing about Cosmic horrors beyond human comprehension is that if you try to comprehend it you'll go insane. But if you name it "squid face gary" and take it only at face value you'll do just fine. If it's beyond human understanding, just don't understand it!

"are you another so called hero? here to save the princess from my clutches?" no, i am but a simple scholar. i just want to know why you would kidnap a princess in the first place"

Your superpower is that you can conjure anything in your palm provided it only costs a dollar or less. You have been relentlessly mocked for having such a useless power until you realize just how usefull it can be

An assassin tries to assassinate a human representative on the Galactic Government by poisoning their drink with water. When that fails they fill their sleeping quarters with oxygen.