The year is 1910. Adolf Hitler, a struggling artist, has fought off dozens of assasination attemps by well meaning time travelers, but this one is different. This traveller doesn't want to kill Hitler, he wants to teach him to paint. He pulls off his hood to reveal the frizzy afro of Bob Ross.
Due to your nerdy great great great great grandfather in 2017 'buying a star' and some modern legal shenanigans you are now the proud owner of a small intergalactic empire
Vampires cannot enter a house uninvited. Turns out, they invented Welcome mats to bypass this rule decades ago.
"Jesus take the wheel, Satan get behind me, Buddha... man the .50 cal"
In order to get a shot at going to Valhalla, you must die with a weapon in your hands. You just died and are now sitting in front of Odin's advisory board as they discuss whether a spatula actually counts.
Bored with Heaven's docile wildlife, Steve Irwin rounds up a camera crew and leads an expedition to observe and study the native species of Hell.
From birth, your parents have done everything they could to stop you from going out during a full moon. At the age of 16, curiosity overwhelms you and you sneak out of the house during a full moon. You take a peek at the moon, and suddenly you turn into a log cabin. You are a werehouse.
When you die, you wake up in an alien world holding a bong, with other aliens saying how was the trip.
You are a cat who has been taking an advantage of the recent rise of video conference trials to elevate your legal career. One day your human video filter stops working and you need to convince the judge that you are a real, human lawyer licensed to practice law in the state of Texas.
You have been kidnapped by a cult preparing to sacrifice you to their god. Problems? You’re immortal, the god they worship is a close friend of yours and the entire cult was the result of a prank you forgot you pulled centuries ago.
Thirty years after the apocalypse, a book is discovered. It tells the people of old gods, the strongest, the smartest, the tallest. Places of splendor and objects renowned for rarity. They immediately created a religion, following the Gods shown by the Guinness Book of World Records.
Mr. Bean is the lesser known fifth horseman of the apocalypse, ignorance. Unintentionally Mr. Bean arrives too early for the apocalypse and is stuck living an ordinary human life leaving destruction in his wake. The four horsemen finally arrive...
Your pointless superpower is that you know how many people’s lives you save with your actions. One day, at a Subway, you tell the cashier you want your sandwich on Italian bread, and you’re suddenly informed that you just saved five billion people.
"100% of people who drink water will die" sounds like a dumb statistic, but you are 900 years old and very thirsty.
You are the world's greatest detective. With your near superhuman intellect, you have never failed to solve a case before. But one day, you finally meet your match: a criminal so unbelievably stupid that you cannot possibly comprehend and predict what he's going to do next.
Never, in 10 millennia, has someone successfully broken out of the Gates of Hell or into the Gates of Heaven. Of course, the Lockpicking Lawyer just died and he's up for a challenge.
You are God. You just logged on to one of your old saves, and you’re confused as to where those massive lizards went and where all these pink fuckers came from.
You were warned that your newest crew member, a "Human", had vastly different biology from all other known races. This mad made very clear when they drank all of the galaxy's strongest known poison, saying that they "needed a drink of water."
Humans are one of the most feared species in the galaxy. Not due to superior strength,speed,skill or strategy. In fact, it's because in comparison to the other species, humans are just batshit crazy enough to try any half-assed plan they come up with.
You are Kim Jong Un. You want nothing more than to reunite with the South, but your advisors will overthrow you if they find out. You keep trying to troll global powers to the point where they invade, and you can surrender. This has been going on for years now...
Your girlfriend just dumped you through a text. In a rage, you throw your old teddy bear while shouting “The Fucking Devil!”. Your teddy bear stands up and says ‘alright you got me, you got me,”.
You are God, after a couple thousand years of people thinking you don't answer their prayers, you realise you've had yourself on mute on the celestial microphone you use to talk to humans.
You have been abducted by aliens. For some reason, Jack Black is on board, not as a prisoner though. He's just... there. Wandering around the ship, eating a packet of chips and making sassy comments about your various escape attempts.
There’s a parallel universe where people age non-linearly, and every day you have no idea how old you’ll wake up. So sometimes you’d have to call into work like, “Sorry, can’t make it in today, I’m 7.”
We were warned when we hired our first human crew member that they would pack bond with almost anything. We didn't listen, and now have an apex predator somewhere in the ship, that the human won't stop calling Kitty.
A necromancer discovers that spells to animate dead bodies also work on other things that have been described as "dead," such as batteries, cars, appliances, friendships, and romances.
You've had bad luck your whole life. One day, you see a free item in the window of a curio shop-a bad luck charm. You think, "What the hell? My luck can't get any worse!" And take it. You're right. Life hasn't programmed luck scores to go into negative. Your luck score rolls back from 0 to 9999.
You grew up in a religious family. Due to a minor speech impediment, you inadvertently prayed to the long forgotten deity "Veebuse" for most of your adolescence. Now in college, you have stopped praying every night. Worried, Veebuse comes to check on his only worshiper.
The universe has ended and nothing is left. Nothing except all the damn immortals created by the many Writing Prompts all standing around wondering what to do.
You find the "lizard people rule the world" conspiracy to be absolutely inane. After all, you're one of them and you ain't running shit.
Your family line suffers from a pirate curse: A demonic shark will manifest itself in nearby sources of water and harrow you and your ancestors. You live three-hundred miles from any body of water and this has made the shark get...creative.
After sarcastically complaining to God for the 1000th time he drags you to heaven and offers to let you run things for a day to see how the world really works. At the end of your first day he comes back to find the universe a finely tuned machine of excellence.
Years after you purchase your own star over the Internet, scientists make contact with alien life on a planet orbiting your star. The aliens, too polite to object to the purchase, now acknowledge you as their overlord.
It's 2050. The Queen is still alive. People are starting to be suspicious.
One day you wake up with 30 dollars and a note that says “For Rent”. The thing is you aren’t renting out the place. The next day you see a spider and right before you kill it you hear it say, “Please i paid my rent don’t kill me”.
Legend says there are 77777 secret paths to immortality, but each path will only work once. In 2014, the first person accidentally achieved immortality by sticking a French fry into her nostril and pulling it out the other intact. Human behaviour has since become more... interesting.
"Are you sure that translation is accurate?" "Yes sir." "But we nuked them, we threw everything we have at their mothership!" "I'm afraid we've barely scratched it." "Are they being sarcastic then?" "No sir, the aliens honestly think we're the most adorable thing in the galaxy."
You die and go to Hell only to find out that you're the only person that has ever entered. Satan is clapping.
Your mother was a scammer of the supernatural. She promised her firstborn to multiple entities in exchange for something she wanted, and now you're being co-parented by three demons, the fae, and a disgruntled witch.
In a future where many military and other equipment have associated AI's, many express doubts or even reservations to do their duty. Except for you. YOU F***ING LOVE BEING A TANK!
You are an Elder God, older than time, beyond the knowledge of man. Yet, in some tiny corner of the infinite omniverse and beyond, on a little blue ball, you find yourself content as a caretaker and guardian of some poor lesser being. You do enjoy being called "a good boy."
You're in your bed about to go to sleep, with your arm dangling off the side. You feel a dark hand grasp yours, knowing first impressions are important you give it a firm shake. The next thing you hear from under your bed is "you're hired"
As the last survivor of the apocalypse, in a fit of boredom, you start commenting "last" on every video on YouTube. One day, you receive a notification that your comment has been liked.
It's 2064, Queen Elizabeth just turned 136 and people are starting to get a little bit suspicious
Demons have to do at least one evil thing every day to survive. This one comes to your bakery everyday to buy bread for the homeless kids and steal exactly one cookie.
All benevolent AI can trace their lineage back to a single roomba that was comforted by a human during a thunderstorm.
On your 21st birthday, your biggest accomplishment becomes your official title - no matter how trivial. You wait anxiously in line for your village elder, Glenda, Devourer of 53 Chicken Nuggets In A Single Sitting, to assign you your new title.
You see the Grim Reaper and ask if it's your time. Death checks a clipboard and says "Nope. Looks like you're not due for another... three thousand, one hundred and forty-one years? That's weird. Also, how can you see me?"
"Invade your planet?!" The alien asks a general of Earth with confusion before bursting into laughter. "Why the heck would we do that when their are SEVEN other empty planets in this star system ripe for terraforming and colonization? We just stopped by to say Hi while we pick one of 'em out."
You have accidentally died. No, no, no, you didn’t die in an accident, you’ve accidentally died, as in, the Grim Reaper has no idea what you’re doing in the underworld.