Comedy Writing Prompts

After mistakenly transfering to a high school for monsters, you try to tell them that you're just a regular human. However, because of bizarre coincidences creating apparently inexplicable situations, the school population and teachers come to believe you're actually an Eldritch Abomination

Far in the post apocalyptic future, the dominant religion follows the holy book "Laws and Regulations of OSHA" as a set of tenets to live by. They're... actually pretty successful.

The mighty alien race comes to the human leaders, pledging their unconditional surrender, and even offering peace gifts of immense monetary and technological value. The only problem is that we had no idea we were at war, or that aliens even existed.

You work at a retirement home for superheroes who've gotten too infirm and senile to continue their work. The hardest part of the job is keeping them here, instead of gallivanting off on a foolhardy quest to relive their glory days.

"If you kill a killer the number of killers stays the same." "Just kill two, hell i killed like 17 today."

You were terrified when you were sentenced to be thrown into the labyrinth with the Minotaur. That is until the Minotaur charged around the corner and you discovered, to your surprise, that the Minotaur was a calf. You’re not a victim. You’re a babysitter.

An octopus slinks into a dark room with a gun in each arm. He hears a soft chuckle coming from the corner. “You’re one short, my friend,” says the cat as he steps into view.

The aliens saw a planet divided as an opportunity to attack. The first sign they were wrong, was when they intercepted a recording. "Hey Canada! The Geneva Conventions don't apply to aliens do they?"

You have Vampiric Blood running through your veins. However, that blood comes from quite a few generations back, so all it really means is that you like eating meat, can't swim, get mildly annoyed by religious architecture, and get sunburned really easily.

You fell in love with a vampire. You married her on the condition that she would never bite to convert you. Life is good. You get to keep both your love and your humanity. However, you forgot to account for your teething baby daughter biting you.

"It's time once again for everyone's favorite species that can't ingest raw nutrients to survive! It has to be just right, from temperature to texture, in a process that gives galactic biochemists a headache. Please welcome today's contestants in: COOKING. FOR. HUMANS!"

You were sure your girlfriend knew your secret identity, so you were happy to flirt with her both in and out of costume. But today she confessed to cheating on you. With you.

The Fae had faded into near obscurity, until they discovered humans will readily give their name to a barista.

You are the newest dragon advisor for the royal family. Your predecessors favor cryptic advice like beware the red rose or cast a stone in the river shaped like a serpent. Your advice is more straightforward like “don’t marry your cousin” or “your daughter would make a better ruler.”

Before an engagement, the commanding officer ends his speech with “make your ancestors proud”. A subordinate responds “Sir! I’m not proud of my ancestors, can I borrow someone else’s”?

Nobody could ever call you observant — You’ve been a regular at your favorite bakery for months now, blissfully unaware that it is a shockingly obvious front for a criminal enterprise.

An ancient vampire has Turned you. As you are coming to terms with your new reality, they explain that they did it because want their crypt to have internet access and wifi.

You are the child of a union between two separate half-dragons. However, genetically, you are fully human. You are about to introduce your fiancé to your extended family - and they haven't believed you to this point about your... diverse family tree.

"Halt! Our scans show you are harboring an endoparasite and will not be permitted to board!" "A what? Hang on, are you talking about my baby?" "Oh, so you even gave it a name?"

You have been summoned to another world in order to resolve the ongoing crisis but due to a malfunction in the translator spell, everything comes out UwU. You've finally managed to make it to the final boss, and are trying to respectfully listen to his monologue without laughing.

Winston Churchill once said, “Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” A man with a dog, a cat, and a pig leaves for work, and his three pets talk about him while he’s gone.

Turns out that Hell has no fire, torture, or frozen wastelands to endure. The only actual punishment is having to spend an eternity with the other assorted jerks that ended up there as well.

You rush into a church to stop the love of your life from marrying the wrong person. Not paying attention, you shout "I OBJECT" only to realize it's a funeral. The deceased immediatelly rises in perfect health. All eyes turn to you.

A Psychopath gets teleported into the world of a cheesy romance novel. In order to escape he needs to play the role of the main character, but due to his lack of conscience and empathy things don't go as planned.

Joshua accidentally angered the witch, and she cursed him so he may never find a wife. 20 years later, Joshua invites her to his and Paul's wedding, just to see her reaction.

Four roommates. Three are aliens who took human form to learn about human culture. All three are from different plants and think the others are humans. The one human knows this and is trying to hold it together, but loves playing into their gullibility.

You are Reference-Man. Your power can be whatever you want, so long as it is a reference to pop-culture. The obscurer the reference, the greater is your power.

Humans aren't actually space Orcs, they're space Orcas. For most, they're a social, playful species. For their prey, however, the evil shit Humans can conjure up to hurt and destroy them is terrifying.

"Father Christmas!" called out the Lord of Halloween across the bloody fields of November. "Your campaign of expansion shall go no further! On my honor, one of us will die before you set foot on October soil! ...We were friends once, Father Christmas! Don't make me destroy you!"

You are the first ever completely ethical vampire: you post the terms and conditions of trespassing, make it clear in the memo that said people are subject to be fed on... You can safely say that humanity's stupidity has kept you alive for thousands of years.