Comedy Writing Prompts

The Rick Roll jinx is a spell created by the legendary bard Rick Astley that spams a vision inside a mind reader's brain should they try to invade yours.

'AITA because I waited to tell the other survivors about my zombie bite?'

"Evil? What makes you think i'm evil?" they said, their skull throne creaking as they shifted their weight. They turned to look at their demonic bodyguard "do you think i look evil?" with a voice filled with genuine concern.

Years ago your work place accepted a prank delivery to an evil villains lair, ever since that day the villian hasn't left you alone, convinced you were secretly a hero, no matter how many times you explain you were just a pizza delivery driver and it was a prank call.

You wished to find a dragon to slay for its treasure. Now you're not sure how to feel seeing a thumb-sized dragon try to drag its single shiny copper coin with it as it runs away from you.

The first spaceship to achieve FTL is stopped by the Universe Police and given a speeding ticket.

You are a superhero, who also happens to be a therapist. Your supervillain nemesis has just captured you and is giving the usual “love and friendship is for the weak” speech. You can’t help but ask, “Dude, who hurt you?”

Your roommate is a hulking demon, a former warlord with millennia of combat experience, and the picture of menace and brutality. You open the door to find them standing stark naked, their brand new tuxedo held carefully in their claws and a desperate plea for help in their eyes.

"Wait," The dragon said, "Raise your hand if you're an adult." The party of knights before it stayed still. The dragon sighed. "Turn around and go back home. Tell your king not to pull this crap again."

Vampires can only enter your home if you invite them in because... Consent is important in vampire culture.

As a last resort, the wizard summoned heroes from another world. The first happily embarked on their "RPG adventure". The next said something about "darkness" or "souls", then rolled away alone. The third mumbled "factorio" and constructed supply lines. Every new hero is weirder than the last.

Aliens arrive at Earth, and inform us that our solar system must regretfully be processed into rocks to throw at the invasion of the Outer Gods that has been ongoing for billions of years. “Well, why don’t you let us take a crack at it for a hundred years or so? What’ve you got to lose?”

Your parents listed Hades as your godfather as a joke, That would not be an issue if it were not for the 3-headed puppy delivered to your doorstep by Persephone and Hades themselves, planning to protect you from the Olympian's shenanigans due to Zeus' bulldickery

"But, we summoned you. You *HAVE* to fight for us!" "I don't have to do shit until you present me with a satisfactory contract of employment!"

"Having seen how well humans treat their defeated enemies we wish to formally declare our surrender." "But we're not at war.", "Of course not we were hoping to skip that bit"

You make a deal with a demon, expecting to give up your soul or pay some other great price. You are surprised when the demon's demands amount to a mild inconvenience at worst. But the demon still thinks it's a terrible price for mortals to pay.

In the world of cartoons, everyone lives according to the status quo. Injuries are healed the next day, environmental damage is restored, and changes to the world is reverted. One day, the world stopped resetting, introducing "Continuity" to the cartoon world.

The fourth little pig built his house out of wolf skulls. It wasn't very sturdy, but it sent a message.

While magic exists, it’s impossible for it to affect "normies", nor can they witness it. You can cast a huge explosion, but only those magically gifted will be hurt. Buildings & objects constructed by normies are unaffected too. You’ve been waging a secret war with Jerry from HR for years now.

You are an alien assassin tasked with killing the human ambassador. Only to find out all your poisons like caffeine, chocolate, capsaicin, tabacco mint etc. Don't work

Most magical mascots would usually choose a group of teenage girls to be chosen as magical guardians, however one mascot, for the sake of efficiency, decides to choose a group of marines to become magical girls instead.

"No, no. Trust me; it works. Humans love to take care of pregnant and baby things. I've even seen them adopt things they eat!" "What about things that eat them?" "Oh, humans like those best of all! So just go up and act weak, they'll take care of the rest."

You're an immortal who got tired of living and decided to take a nice thousand-year nap in a coffin 6ft underground. 500 years later, your sleep is interrupted by some inexperienced grave robbers.

“Alexa, cancel the timer,” you say. “You have two timers: a nine-minute pasta timer with two minutes left, and a 4.5-billion year Earth timer with three months left. Which did you want to cancel?” You don’t remember setting the second one.

Since your phone number is one digit off from the Wizard Tech Support hotline, you get the occasional call. You know nothing of magic, but your computer skills and common sense translate real well.

A hero and villain put aside their differences so that they can spend time with their kids in daycare

The nearest kingdom gave you the title of dragon slayer but in reality the dragon you "slayed" was your girlfriend throwing a fit and you just calmed them down enough to go back to their human form.

"A warning: Humans, from the planet known to them as Earth, will adopt anything they deem childlike and will go to extreme lengths to protect that adopted creature and spoil it to eternity." The high representative's letter addressed to the galaxy read as some previous incidents became clear.

You are the king's court jester and you enjoy your job very much, but what not many people now is that you used to be a royal knight. One day a noble, offended by a joke you made, challenges you to a duel.

"Of course I've gone mad with power. Have you tried going mad without power? It's boring! No one listens to you!"