Harry, Ron and Hermione aren't actually wizards or in the wizarding world. They are high on drugs and hallucinating throughout their journeys. The cops are Dementors and Dumbledore is a crazy old homeless man.
In an alternate reality JK Rowling died writing The Deathly Hallows and requested George RR Martin finish the book. He accepted and takes over at the Battle of Hogwarts with no instruction on how it's supposed to end.
You decide to prank your newborn kid by having him read Harry Potter series and convincing him it's real and that he is a wizard as well. You fake a Hogwarts letter, drive him to King's Cross station and wait for the moment he crashes into the pillar. He goes straight through.
You are a traveler who reaches a city where powerful magicians exist. The stronger a wizard, the less other wizards can sense him casting spells. You start showing off some card tricks to the locals for some coins and realize that some people in the audience look terrified.
You are a witch who offers couples deals in return for their first born child. You run an orphanage full of children freed from their would-be parents irresponsible enough to make a deal with a witch in the woods
The demonology professor spoke to the class "and if you must sell your soul to a demon, at least bother to summon two and make them bid up the price."
Mages choose the source of their power. Most pick things like fire, or justice, or love. You picked sarcasm.
You and your friends grew up in a small town far from any magic schools but managed to learn it eventually. You always pushed and challenged each other, unaware of how strong you were. Then one day a city mage happened to pass through town.
You hate this one guy in particular. You also know witchcraft. So you cast a curse to slowly destroy the thing he loves the most. As time passes on, you find that nothing has changed, but you are starting to get sick.
Many centuries ago your ancestor angered a witch who cursed him and his family with misfortune for 100 generations. You are a child of the 101st generation and the universe is trying its hardest to compensate.
The real reason witches want first-born kids for their services is to protect those children from the parents greedy enough to accept in the first place.
When your friend is drunk he says that he is a wizard. So you jokingly ask him to make you immortal. That was 200 years ago.
Your mother is one of the most powerful necromancers alive, and she absolutely dotes on you to the point of utter humiliation. As a teenager, you got rebellious and became a cleric, but hid it from her. When you finally came clean with her, she said "Oh! That's how I got started, too!"
You are an unimportant background character in Hogwarts. It's Harry Potter's third year and while he is off dealing with dementors and the imminent threat of Sirius Black, noone else seems to notice that Dumbledore has been replaced by a completely different old man except for you.
A powerful necromancer is trying to raise the dead. However, despite trying different vessels and rituals, he has only raised you. Over. And over. And over. You're both starting to get sick of each other.
The Wizarding World has never met someone like the speedcaster. He can summon more than 10 spells in less than 30 seconds. He says he's from another world, where there a more people like him called 'rappers'.
Most young mages use incredibly complex spells and extremely rare ingredients to summon their familiar. You just drew a circle and threw a bag of chips in it.
After the Battle of Hogwarts, Dudley met a woman and they had a daughter,Sophie. Sophie is the light of their lives,she's always been a pleasant child. The morning of Sophie's 11th birthday,there’s a knock at the door. Harry is here to visit his cousin for the first time in almost 20 years.
Two magicians made a blood oath when they were children that they would never harm each other. Now they are mortal enemies and have resorted to inconveniencing and annoying each other, knowing if they harm one another they'll die.
It was then Harry Potter realized the last 7 years in Hogwarts was actually a mental institute. The man he thought to be Dumbledore was just an elderly caretaker. Harry, looking at an old broken twig he once believed was a wand, started to remember what really happened during those years.
You picked up an injured cat and patched it up overnight. The next morning, you woke up to see a family of witches standing beside your bed, and one of them is holding the injured cat in her arms. That witch said, “My cat wants to adopt you. So you’re now one of us.”
You're the wizard's apprentice, and of course the first few years involve running errands and doing other tasks. He hands you a daily schedule, but to your confusion the total hours for the different tasks add up to more than 24. "Figure it out" He says, "I chose you for a reason."
Angry at the thief, the witch cast a spell upon him. “The moment your eyes meet with your soulmate, you shall die.” The thief immediately has a heart attack afterwards. “Damn it.”
Wizards are often depicted as being lone, reclusive researchers tinkering with new magics all alone in their towers for decades. However as the scientific process developed so too did the magical process, now wizards work in research teams, all spells are peer reviewed and papers are published
You are the dangerous Chaos Mage. Everyone fears you. You are actually just dyslexic and keep reading you spellbook wrong.
You, a wizard, have accidentally misread some cursive writing and summoned a lemon instead of the intended demon. Turns out, your new companion is a lot more powerful than you thought.
You are known as the Prison Necromancer, feared by inmates all over the world. Contrary to rumours, you are just a healer. Your job? Keep those punished with multiple life sentences alive and 'sane' for their entire sentence.
You are a medieval villager who has been cursed by a witch. She curses you to be live until you are the last human alive. After a 1000 years you try to start the apocalypse.
The men in your family die the moment they turn 18, due to a curse cast on one of your ancestors by a witch. You turned 18 a week ago and are still living, and as a result a descendant of the witch has arrived to figure out why you didn't die.
Your fairy godmother is very strange. She dresses in black and red, never takes off her mask, and uses scary magic. However, she genuinely does love you and teaches you what she knows.
The witch grows angry as she stares at the baby in your wife's hands that she had birthed only hours prior. "I wanted *your* firstborn! This is a trick!" She shouts at you. You look at the witch in confusion. Your wife panics. This was quite an exceptional way to learn about the affair.
You are reborn as a mute skeleton, one of many magically animated to serve a small petite witch with delusions of grandeur who does not realize that you are more than a magical puppet. You decide to secretely help her with her schemes antics because you find it hilarious.
"how can you have HIM as an apprentice! He is too soft!" "Exactly! He's the only one I trained that isn't a power hungry psychopath."
You are an instructor at a magical academy, but you are no wizard, warlock, sorcerer, or witch. No, you aren't magical at all, but that doesn't mean your classes are easy.
The witch begs your forgiveness for cursing you as a baby; she was young and hot-headed, and would you like her to undo the curse? You aren't sure what to say as this is the first you've heard about any of this.
After attempting to burn a witch who just flew off cackling, a town has to come to terms with the fact that it has clearly been accusing and burning innocent people up till now.
"You shall fall dead the day your first child is born!" the young, inexperienced witch had cried casting her curse. Little did she know, to an asexual like yourself, she'd practically granted immortality. Now, every year, on the anniversary of the curse, she tries her best to "fix" things.
You only know 1 spell, but that spell made you known as the most powerful mage in the world.
Contrary to popular belief witch and wizard aren't actually gendered terms. Witchcraft and wizardry are distinct schools of magic that can be learned by anyone. You are a male witch/female wizard and are sick of explaining this.
Joshua accidentally angered the witch, and she cursed him so he may never find a wife. 20 years later, Joshua invites her to his and Paul's wedding, just to see her reaction.
“And what do you do with the children? Enslave them? Eat them?” “What? No!” The witch shouted, aghast. “I raise them, of course. If parents are willing to give up their children for greed, then imagine what they’d do to the child, given the chance to raise it?”
"You should be aware that casting this spell will legally require me to take your firstborn child" said the Witch, "but the meaning of 'take' was never defined, so I imagine we can figure out a loophole or two that'd work for you."
At the age of 16 all witches are assigned a familiar. You are excited for yours as you see your friends turn 16 and get theirs. Cats, Crows, spiders. You are devastated to find out that out your 16th birthday, your familiar is a 27 year old hipster named Frank.
As a last resort, the wizard summoned heroes from another world. The first happily embarked on their "RPG adventure". The next said something about "darkness" or "souls", then rolled away alone. The third mumbled "factorio" and constructed supply lines. Every new hero is weirder than the last.
You are a 'Life force' magic practitioner. You gain magical power by magically pulling the LF from other living things. Usually your kind is feared, but you are well liked. You take the the LF from invasive plants and insects. No one realises how powerful you are until another LFMP arrives.
"They only ever use a single spell in combat" "Yea but theyre REALLY good at that one spell"
You are a poor child going to a popular magic school at your mentors insistence, telling you to "broaden your horizon." But when you get there you realise everyone is doing magic differently to what your mentor taught. They use silly chants and carry big ugly books around.
The witch cursed the princess so that no man would love her. Unbeknownst to the witch, the princess is lesbian and is glad to finally be rid of her annoying suitors.
The title of Archmage can only be held by the pinnacle of each magical field, who have spent decades perfecting their magic. As a young genius who invented a new field of magic, you have significantly lowered the average age of archmages.
You angered a witch, and in retaliation, she transformed you into an unmovable tree in a public park. Months later, she returns with the sinister hope of reveling in your suffering, only to find that you are not only surviving but thriving and happier than ever before.