Comedy Writing Prompts

The prince and princess of the two most powerful succubus clans were supposed to be the dirtiest of them all! Except the couple spends their days cuddling in pillow forts, wearing conservative clothing! And…only doing missionary!!!

You were tricked by the old “three kids in a trench coat” gag. Now you’re desperately trying to cover up your incompetence.

You are writing a passionate love scene for a romance novel. The only challenge is that, as a silicon based jellyfish who lives in the atmosphere of a gas giant, you have no idea how human beings have sex.

If you push the red button you will instantly be transformed into a voluptuous woman, but in exchange- *clickclickclickclickclickclick*

Sitting on your shoulders was your tomboy angel and bimbo devil. "Suck his dick!" pleaded the devil, "No!" replied the angel, "pin him down, THEN suck his dick!"

"Wait, you mean you guys had been procreating only within your species even after joining the galatic union?! Eww gross!" The alien was repulsed. It seems we have become the Alabama of our galaxy...

An elf, dwarf, and human discuss wine and beer. The only thing the elf and dwarf agree on is that humans have no taste in alcohol.

The note read " Hi honey, i borrowed your dick. Don't worry im just gonna use it as a desk toy you know one of those things you play with absent mindedly. Should be fun for you<3 just try not to cum all over my work. love ya. Thx"

As Lara entered her online class, she slowly got bored and decided to mastrubate. Some time later, after more orgasms than she could count, she heard a voice from the computer. "Lara!! For the last time, turn your camera off!!"

You thought the vibrating anal beads would be the perfect way to cheat at chess undetected, but then it all went wrong...

"Oh dear. I seem to have fallen over and exposed myself. I sure hope no one will ravish me while I'm stuck on the ground. Heeeeeellllllppppp."

You joined a cult thinking you'd get some deeper truth. It turns out the cult is just a front for an orgy group

“Sir, it appears that you have an STI.” “How is that possible?! I haven’t been…well…ACTIVE for quite some time.” “Well, that’s the thing. In your case, it seems that STI stands for Supernaturally Transmitted Infection.” “Excuse me?”

In an effort to both improve customer satisfaction and employee morale, a call centre has installed Sybians (male equivalent where applicable) instead of normal chairs. During a call, customers can press 0-9 to set the intensity.

A mecha pilot sighs as he climbs back out of the cockpit, the onboard AI moaning as he does. "Alright, who installed a fleshlight in my mech?"

During a supposedly anonymous lab study at your college, someone discovers your sperm has study-enhancing qualities that exceed Ritalin or Adderall - and instead of sharing her findings with one friend, she accidentally emails the biggest sorority in town...

"I'll have what she's having" You say pointing the woman red-faced and gasping at the end of the bar. Little did you know, what she was *having* was a couple shots of 'Juice That Makes You Cum Super Hard'

You couldn’t have been more confused when your human sexuality teacher sent you a chaturbate link instead of a Zoom meeting for your one on one “tutoring.”

As your son’s father you can’t help but love and support him but as you and your wife sit across from him while he tries to tell you how he’s marrying the actual literal devil you can’t help but question at least some decision making here.

At 18 everyone is given vibrator tests to assess their social status; the most disciplined and longest-lasting move into the high ranks of elite power and pleasure, while premature ejaculators and weak-willed fall into obscurity. No one knows how long they have to last.

You’ve been hypnotized by your roommate to do more and more chores for them. One night while adding more commands, they stub their toe and yell “fuck me!”

The curse of endless orgasms was put upon you. To end this hellish loop of pleasure you must go on a epic quest, slay monsters, and defeat the wizard who cursed you. All while cummig your brains out.

"So, Hero. Pray tell, how come that barely 10 seconds into basically any fight, all your clothes get blown away?"

For whatever reason, be it pure luck, the universe, or even god, you just somehow keep accidentally sticking your dick in your crush via the most convoluted accidents possible!

It was a boring sunday afternoon, until his female best friend crashed through his door. "NO TIME TO EXPLAIN! I NEED YOU TO COVER MY TITS IN YOUR CUM! ASAP!!!"

A well built yet completely oblivious paladin joins an all female party. Their hints go over his head up to and including him finding them splayed out in his tent.

HumansAreSpaceRabbits

It's time to play Beat The Cock! Our beautiful contestant has to get through the questions before our male "model" cums on her! She can skip any question she can't answer, but that means she has to take off a piece of clothing!

A biologist gets reincarnated in a fantasy world, and he hates it, nothing makes sense, the cat ears, the demons, the snake tits. Why do the snakes have tits the size of his head.

Humans aren't very interesting to Aliens, but bears, bears are insane.