Comedy Writing Prompts

You are an unimportant background character in Hogwarts. It's Harry Potter's third year and while he is off dealing with dementors and the imminent threat of Sirius Black, noone else seems to notice that Dumbledore has been replaced by a completely different old man except for you.

One day it happened in an instant, everyone with a Facebook account was infected with a bioelectronic virus that turned them into a soldier of Zuckerberg. They called it the Facebookening. This is the legend of the man who rose up to save us: they call him Tom. From Myspace.

For 24 hours each year, all cats can break any cat laws without consequences. Welcome to the Purrrge.

You're a 21st century Super-villain with a Doomsday device and a ransom message to the world. But the internet is so flooded with garbage you can't get any traction on your Tweets and videos, and no one's seeing the message.

You're the result of a drunken one-night stand between a hero and a villain. Despite their complicated hatred of each other, they've always tried not to fight for your sake. That changes during a particularly heated parent-teacher meeting.

Your girlfriend has been complaining that some asshole was interfering with her job. Meanwhile, you are an elite bodyguard who has just stopped the tenth attempt on your boss's life.

You and your best friend made a pact to marry one another if both of you are still single at 30 years old. It is now time to fulfill that promise but over the years, your best friend became the leader of a notorious crime syndicate and you just got promoted... as the city's prosecuter.

Due to a clerical error the soul of the one destined to be the Dark Lord, leader of the armies of darkness, scourge of all that is good and holy is sent to a loving household and grows up to be a well adjusted individual that just happens to have unfathomable eldritch powers

You've been a controversial figure on Reddit since the beginning. Responsible for all kinds of posts deemed too embarrassing or inappropriate to stay posted very long. You are u/[deleted] and this is your story.

You are a guard in a video game. The main character thinks that they are always able to successfully sneak past you. They don't, you notice every time but would prefer not to have you and your friends be mercilessly slaughtered.

Your home is being invaded, fortunately you are armed with the BEST home defense system available: A 36 year old Macaulay Culkin who's tired of this shit.

A powerful necromancer is trying to raise the dead. However, despite trying different vessels and rituals, he has only raised you. Over. And over. And over. You're both starting to get sick of each other.

Due to a clerical error, the hero is sent with the wisest thief, the fastest wizard, the smartest warrior, and the strongest preist.

You've just finished your latest invention: A Universal Translator. While testing it, you accidentally input some human genome and, to your surprise, it begins to work. As it processes you can make out the first few words: "Quality assured by inspector #12."

The demon stands amid your destroyed kitchen screaming, “How? How were you able to summon me?!” You’re standing in the corner flipping through your grandma’s cookbook as fast as you can, screaming back, “I don’t know!! You were supposed to be chicken soup!”

The most difficult part of being a Supervillian? Find love, not because other people won't like you, but because the stupid Superheros will swoop in and "rescue" your date every time, but this time you have a plan, and it's going to work.

Humans are the most social creatures in the galaxy, even the most socially inept human is far more confident in social situations than any other alien. The Intergalactic society finally gathered the confidence to make first contact.

You have died and gone to Hell. Strangely it isn't as bad as you thought, maybe it is even nice. Turns out the Devil is super lazy and doesn't actually torture the damned. But you, being the compulsive organizer you are, have decide to change that.

As an atheist, you are shocked to realize that there is an after life after death. Standing in front of countless heavenly gates, you are swarmed by representatives of each faith, all trying to convince you to choose their happily ever after package.

Most young mages use incredibly complex spells and extremely rare ingredients to summon their familiar. You just drew a circle and threw a bag of chips in it.

You get into a taxi cab after getting out of the airport. "Where to?" the driver speaks. Jokingly, you respond, "Whatever dumb secret agency is nearby." "Codephrase accepted, agent" he responds.

You are the Evil Overlord. You have kidnapped the princess. Unfortunately, she developed Stockholm Syndrome. And she is far more evil and insane than you are.

As an ancient god, you are at the end of your life as your name slips from the memories of your people. You expect death to be peaceful but you keep popping in and out of existence as some of your people suddenly remember your name and then forget it again. It's starting to get annoying.

Humans finally broke physics by travelling faster than light in an experimental spaceship. 8 alien civilizations visited earth to issue a speeding ticket and 3 more sent strongly worded letters about safety in their school zones.

You are a wolf who was bitten by a werewolf. Every full moon your hair recedes, your teeth dull, and you are left cold and naked on a hillside. You’ve also met a lovely park ranger named Christine.

You put on a foil hat as a joke and for the first time your thoughts are clear and your mind is a well oiled machine. Every plot and machination is clearly laid out before you Beautiful Mind-like. Overwhelmed you aggressively grab passerbys and shout the truths.

You're bitten by a zombie. By some strange happening, you die and become a zombie, but your ghost remains bound to this earth. Your ghost has to try and keep your zombie body out of trouble until a cure is found.

You are an old African priest tired of watching your people being terrorized by vampires. You saw the weather forecast, and you know your job. Today, you'll bless the rains down in Africa.

Of course the hero and the villain know each other's secret identities: they're roommates and coworkers. They just do this epic battle schtick in the evenings because they're so bored at work.

You are a mighty dragon, the kind who kidnaps princesses. However, you only do it because princesses inherently have the ability to talk to animals and you're starved for intelligent conversation.