Classical Mythology Writing Prompts

As Pride Month nears it's end, the other six members of the Seven Deadly Sins begin to wonder when they'll get months dedicated to them. Pride, meanwhile, is just trying to get them to understand that he's not actually the focus of Pride Month.

"Jesus take the wheel, Satan get behind me, Buddha... man the .50 cal"

You have been kidnapped by a cult preparing to sacrifice you to their god. Problems? You’re immortal, the god they worship is a close friend of yours and the entire cult was the result of a prank you forgot you pulled centuries ago.

The Apocalypse begins, and the Four Horsemen ride out leading an army that will depopulate Earth. But the old pagan deities of Earth do not consent, and side with humanity.

A god fell in love with a mortal woman. "I cannot bear to live without you," he told her, "so I will grant you immortality." So he made her a goddess and took her to dwell with him in the realm of the gods, where she met all the other women he couldn't bear to live without.

All the Gods that humans have worshipped are in the middle of a meeting, when suddenly the doors slam open. Two new entities enter, a helix fossil and a being made of spaghetti and meatballs.

You are in no way related to Uther Pendragon, however, you realize that the sword in the stone is child proof and to drag it out you just need to push down and turn the sword

As a fan of Greek Mythology you've always wanted to climb Mount Olympus. Though you know you won't find much, a selfie at the top would be pretty neat. But when you arrive, you see a bunch of tents and an old man trying to heat some baked beans. "Stupid lightning never listens to me anymore!"

You're the god of dinosaurs, and you've just woken up from a 65 million year nap to find out the puny god of mammals has been busy while you weren't looking.

You are a minor god amongst many gods. You don’t have a domain until a major god decided to create humans and somehow you are chosen to babysit the first population. You hate this until they start seeing you as their patron god, and you realize their hollering is making you more powerful.

Every year, a man is sent into the caves as a sacrifice to the gods. When you are sent in, you discover a Utopian society run by gods where the “sacrifices” are playing games and living life to its fullest.

As an ancient god, you are at the end of your life as your name slips from the memories of your people. You expect death to be peaceful but you keep popping in and out of existence as some of your people suddenly remember your name and then forget it again. It's starting to get annoying.

The pagan gods watch with amusement as humanity still remember them by naming their mightiest vessels after them, long after they stopped worshiping them. When war against aliens break out, the old gods subtly aid the humans, not wanting the last homage to them to be taken lightly.

You've accidentally summoned an ancient, long-forgotten god while trying to pronounce furniture names at IKEA. Fortunately, the employees are prepared as this has happened before.

After several thousand years, the Greek gods awaken in the in the mid 1940’s. When the gods meet up to discuss what they had learned of the modern world, Ares walks into the room with a hollow and horrified look in his eyes, the day is August 6th, 1945.(Hiroshima)

Those who die in battle go to Valhalla, those who die by water or lightning go to Tlālōcān, and those who die while driving have their own mysterious afterlife. All drivers throughout time, whether they died in cars, on a horse, in a carriage, etc., end up here. Welcome to the Hotel California.

To get past the Sphinx, you must answer its riddles. The riddles are things like "How do I set up my router" and "What's the WiFi password", and it's becoming increasingly clear he's using you for tech support.

The only reason the world hasn't ended yet is because the Gods are locked in a war to determine who's version of Apocalypse will take place. Unbeknownst to them, a minor God has been slowly working towards his version for millennia, and the rest are finally starting to catch on.

Almost giving up on love, you are set up for a blind date. Upon meeting up, you notice your date is literally blind. They ask for your name and you faintly say "Medusa"

Sisyphus has finally had enough. He lifts the boulder over his shoulders and hucks it effortlessly down the mountainside, before setting off in search of Zeus. After all, he’s been building muscle all these millennia, and it’s about time for a rematch.

Your sister the goddess of light and her chosen heroes have sealed you the god of darkness away. You relax in your eternal exile, when you are brought back years later by your desperate sister. You know exactly what she wants and why she brought you back.

When bloody rain began to fall over most of the earth, many religious leaders began to proclaim the end times were upon us. Then corpses came crashing down, identified as Zeus, Odin, Osiris, and Jesus of Nazareth, and we realized it was so much worse.

You're a mostly forgotten god whose only believer is a ten-year-old girl. Every night she offers you a bit of her dinner or a shiny rock in exchange for her family surviving the night and every night you accept because she's never in danger Tonight, however, you actually have to work for it.

As a joke you had always said "I dedicate this to Hades" as you threw away food scraps from your cooking and cleaning your plates. When you die you find yourself in front of Charon's boat with Hades sitting in it, seemingly very excited to see his most devoted follower in recent times.

“I’m sorry I’m dating, who?!” You say in shock. You just found out your girlfriend was the greek goddess Hera, how? By her ex husband Zeus arriving at your door and threatening you to give her back. This is going to be a long day…

You have been kidnapped by a human trafficking ring, & it’s unlikely that the authorities can recover you at this point. Unfortunately for your kidnappers, your SO is a member of the Greek pantheon.

You were terrified when you were sentenced to be thrown into the labyrinth with the Minotaur. That is until the Minotaur charged around the corner and you discovered, to your surprise, that the Minotaur was a calf. You’re not a victim. You’re a babysitter.

You've been fully blind since birth. You also just can't make sense of why the charming Greek lady who runs the local statue garden doesn't seem to have many friends besides you...

You are a god with no followers nor enemies, yet you still persist. No god had ever lived without worship before. The other gods are stumped as to why this is so...until you tell them what you are the god of.

The gods do not answer prayers and are immune to flattery. However, they do respond quickly and fiercely to insults. To perform a magic attack, you must infuriate the appropriate deity and then cleverly dodge so that the response hits your target rather than yourself. Don't invoke -- provoke!