Comedy Writing Prompts

"Okay I agree that the subject of ethics might be little more than a suggestion, that the chance of death by some monstrous experiment gone wrong is likely, and that most coworkers are nutjobs and weirdos, but the budget is unlimited, we get dental, a 401k, and a full month of vacation. So..."

The aliens agreed to sign a peace treaty with one condition, they want a royal marriage, what's the problem? The humans have been a united republic for at least 3 centuries

In a world of supers, people’s powers often came in when they turned 18. The powers lily got though were…not what she was expecting. She was gifted with perfect thighs, and the ability to heal people by squishing them between them, but it only works if she’s bottomless.

Last year his best friend made him a dare where his New Years Resolution is to not cum for the year. If he wins she will sleep with him bareback. If she wins he will be her lackey for life. It’s New Year’s Eve and he is about to win. She needs to win so she recruits her friends.

A magical student gets in over her head experimenting with portal panties...

"On today's news: Chaos continues after a major software glitch lead Handy Helper home assistance robots nationwide to begin violently attacking Tiny Maid Robots, their main competitor. Journey Enterprises, maker of the Handy Helper robot, has yet to make a statement on the situation."

The serial killer thought the Halloween party was an easy target. They miscalculated how harsh costume criticism was for high schoolers.

(incest) Getting stuck in the washing machine, losing every bet or truth or dare on purpose, masturbating with the door open, hell! You’ve even wrestled naked with him! But no matter what porn trope you try, your brother, out of pure naivety, just won’t fuck you!!!

Being turned into a woman and dumped into the middle of the dark forest was just about the worst prank his friends had ever pulled on him. Fortunately, all the monsters in the woods are genuinely polite and helpful!

"Hey! Can't you read?! Employees only!" The monster stops in its tracks utterly confused by the unusual response toward it from the researcher.

Humanity has been 'affected' by a strange new development. Whenever someone is about to say something stupid, they suddenly become insanely sexually aroused in an effort to distract them from what they were about to say. Surprisingly, it works quite well, but it's a real effort.

You’ve made several Pinky Promises over the years. However, once you broke your pinky, all those promises are now null and void.

You're a child born with powerful magic that could very likely destroy the world. One day, your mother jokingly told you never to grow up and stay as her baby forever. You took it a bit too literally, and it's been years since then, and You're still 8 years old.

Turns out that horny Christmas list you made when you were fifteen was just cooking till now. Santa left a lot of great gifts this year.

A being of pure chaos meets a being of pure order. The first words said between them? “Wanna be friends?”

You find a small, thin box waiting at your front door containing a ballpoint pen. Playing with it, you accidentally press a button, turning it into a magical staff, and you a magical girl, in the middle of a meeting.

An alien is sent down to Earth to film the equivalent of a nature documentary on humans, for their fellow aliens.

You grin from ear to ear. At long last, you have taken your revenge and destroyed the world! All of humanity now lies in ash and ruins!! But just then, the realisation dawned on you that you'd never actually thought this far ahead.

On their sixteenth birthday, every person in the world can utter a wish. Every year, one completely random wish is granted. This year it‘s your turn. Only problem? You don‘t actually remember what your wish was, only that you were cackling like a madman saying it.

You are a Hitman. The job has gotten stale, so you decide to kill your next few targets in the most ridiculous, nonsensical, convoluted ways you can think of.

A standard slasher cast of college kids goes to an infamous camping ground. Only the killer in the forest isn't out for blood. He fell in love with the would be Final Girl and wants the other campers to help him ask her out.

A teen superhero is dating a teen supervillain. Of course, both of them are going to have odd meetings with their SO's parents.

She thought her political career was over when the porn she did back in college was revealed to the masses, but her approval rate actually saw a bump. Now her campaign manager wants her to double down on this new angle.

The succubus you summoned hasn't been in touch with humans since the 1840s, and still thinks showing ankles is depraved. She's sexy, enthusiastic and utterly clueless. How will you help her adapt to the porn-addled modern world?

Unbeknownst to you and everyone else you are the literal child of Satan. However, as someone who has lived a good life till you died in an accident heaven has a claim unto your soul. Custody issues ensue

"Why on earth did you teach your insane student the Dark Arts!?" "Yeah, in hindsight that was not one of my better ideas." "You think!? Go rein them in!"

"Ma'am, just because I beat you in combat doesn't mean I want to marry you."

"You were the most evil and destructive immortal..." "and I already atoned for a millennia...can you please adopt me?"

Your girlfriend has a twin sister you didn't know about. Taking advantage of this, they decide to pull a harmless, but devious prank on you.

A galactic realtor is giving a tour of brand new planets in artificially created star systems for the infinitely wealthy. They proceed to go over the amenities for the available planets as well as the policies for the System’s HOA.