Comedy Writing Prompts

You are the Chosen One. The Dark Overlord is currently trying to seduce you to their cause. To their great surprise, you accept almost immediately because you absolutely loathe your job and your companions.

In your lifetime, stories of ordinary people being reborn or transported into fantastical worlds of magic and heroes were popular... not that you knew this, being a dog. Then you got hit by a Truck, and now you're a Dragon that just wishes belly rubs were as easy to get as they used to be.

You have just been abducted by an alien race, only to discover that they only kidnapped you because they needed someone outside of their hive mind to be the dungeon master for their game of D&D.

You’re a fresh zombie. It’s not like you expected. For one thing, you feel great. Secondly, while you can’t talk, you’re telepathically communicating with the others and they’re all REALLY cool. Thirdly, you all feel a deep and profound sense of joy—a joy you all want to share with the living.

A noble sentenced to die is allowed to choose their execution method. They ask to die in honourable combat against the king's knights, armed with a wooden sword while the knights have real weapons. It's been 24 hours since the execution started and the king is running out of knights.

"Listen, you're fine, I'm- stop screaming- I'm not going to hurt you. Yes, opening the Dark Book summons The One Who Ends, but that whole thing where I kill the reader is hogwash. Now, would you kindly direct me to the one who tricked you into opening my book? *Intent* is important, after all."

Because of their immortality, vampires pick up really strange hobbies. You've met a vampire that's been making a stop-motion movie using bonsai trees since the 70's, and another that's been helping a now massive lobster out of its shell for the past 850 years.

“When the Old Gods returned, they were surprised how easy it was to amass an army of followers. Turned out all they had to do was offer fair wages and good benefits, with reasonable deadlines and working conditions”

The galactic council refuses to acknowledge humanity, because galactic edict recognises the first species from each planet to go to space as its representative: they insist on only dealing with dogs

A vampire may only enter a building if he's invited in. Knowing this, vampire hunter Van Housing developed a suit of armor that is shaped like a house on which he can curl like a hermit crab and become immune to attacks. It's ridiculous...but it works.

Sisyphus has finally had enough. He lifts the boulder over his shoulders and hucks it effortlessly down the mountainside, before setting off in search of Zeus. After all, he’s been building muscle all these millennia, and it’s about time for a rematch.

An angry magician cursed a city, turning all the residents into the first animal they thought of. Not powerful enough, it only lasted for a day, and the people surprisingly had fun. A year later they offered to pay the magician to do it again and to make him the leader of the celebration.

You're an actor famous for playing a god on stage. That god is now at your front door asking if you could cover for them while they go on holiday.

You've finally done it. You've proven the existence of magic; discovered how an ordinary human cast spells to control that immense arcane power. There's just one problem making you hesitate about publishing your findings: spellcasting looks so very... STUPID...

"I'm the one being punished," the devil sighed, "God loves ALL humans and none can be harmed. But He can't have all the entitled, self-righteous assholes ruining Heaven so he sends them down to me. They assume they're in Heaven, cause they believe that's what they deserve. It's exhausting".

Young Adult elves often form practice families with humans before returning to their lives once their human partner dies, basically the human equivalent of an affair. You, the elf crown princess, were doing the sa-"Honey, guess who just became immortal!"

“Then the 92nd little pig built a house out of depleted uranium. And the wolf was like ‘dude’.”

When the castle is stormed by enemy troops, the king escapes alone, leaving the princess behind to her fate. Later, as the king is resting at an inn, his royal jester walks in covered in blood and holding the princess in his arms. "Dick move, your majesty," he says. "Dick fucking move."

You and your other co-workers have known for a while that something is impersonating your boss. But no one has bothered to say anything because under its leadership the workplace has become an enjoyable place. Today you’re training a new employee when they see the boss eating a delivery driver.

A secret cabal of vampires is actually trying to fix the world's problems. Not because they're good people, but because modern Humans are so stressed and unhealthy and filled with pollutants that it makes their blood horrible to drink.

You were weirded out by your coworker’s rambling about XP farms and things like that at first but they have been unusually helpful in your group for surviving the zombie apocalypse so far.

“Maybe the real treasure was the friends we made alo-“ “Dude, we desecrated a major archaeological site and half of our team died for the promise of treasure that wasn’t even here!”

A lazy prince is suddenly thrust into power, he constantly tries to push his work on to others or find ways to get out of working but his laziness is continually misconstrued into genius and revolutionary ideas.

Interstellar Travel is significantly easier and Humanity simply missed that step in development, so after an alien armada invades modern day earth the humans are shocked to find them bearing muskets and cannons, and flying wooden ships

"Soldier, how the hell did you manage to take 9,999 captives?" "No idea, sir. They all just surrendered after I killed the first guy."

Genies don't actually mean to twist people's wishes. They just speak Arabic and have to rely on magical translation to interpret wishes in other languages.

"So aliens take over, right? And they think we're their slaves when they force us to work 10 hours a week and give us everything we need and more! Nobody's starving, cancer's cured, and they even cleaned up the planet. Just keep up the act. And don't resist."

"Attention Employees: Management at Grocery-Love will no longer be accepting 'rivers of lava', 'hordes of demons', or 'confronted by a Horseman' as a late excuse. We're all living through the apocalypse and have to think of the team first."

Heaven is separated based on cause of death. All of those who suffered heart attacks are together, all hippopotamus attacks together, drowning, etc. You die and appear in a nearly empty room. An old-looking man looks up at you, and says, "Finally, someone else! It's been ages!"

Instead of being a super villain like your parents, you ended up joining a company. Now your wildly successful and quite frankly much more closer to world domination than your parents. Your parents can't handle it.