Comedy Writing Prompts

Whenever people learn that you are both a werewolf and a policeman they expect you to work in an "appropriate" department, be it forensics, SWAT or supernatural crime, and you always have to explain that you work in traffic enforcement.

You had hoped taking your partner to a public place like a restaurant would help smooth out your breakup. However you didn’t anticipate a hostage situation breaking out right after you break up. Worse is that when the hostage takers hear about it, they take your partners side.

"I don't care if you've transcended the limitations of humanity and become something akin to a god! It's still your turn to do the dishes!"

Your cult spent years worshipping an ancient horror without seeing any results, finally after moving to another one, your old idol sends you a message: "You up?"

Everybody in the kingdom knows Red Dragons breathe scorching flames, and Green Dragons spit a vile toxic acid. The lesser-known Pink Dragon spews a fast-acting, maddening aphrodisiac.

The moment NNN officially ends, the worst possible thing happens: your home internet crashes. No porn, full of desire, you turn to your last resort.

A smart young college girl joins a STEM sorority comprised of similarly nerdy, academically-minded girls. To her surprise, this sorority has used their combined talents to discover the optimum mathematically proven strategy in the blowjobs-for-grades exchange model.

You're a writer. Or you were, yesterday. The publishers agreed it wasn't worth the time. After you tried self-publishing, you're inclined to agree. But a fuming physicist appears in a flash. She threatens to kick your teeth in if she returns to the future and her favorite series isn't complete.

You've made a pact with a demon(ess) for immortality. What do they want in return? Your soul, your firstborn? No, they want to hold hands in public every now and then

Your girlfriend looks like the most dangerous person alive who drinks blood out of humans skulls for fun. You often have trouble explaining to people just how sweet and kind she is.

When the oracle spoke, "The treasure was inside you all along," The party fell silent for a moment, then each turned their gaze toward the blushing rogue...

"There is exactly one designated smoking holodeck and it's been stuck on 1940's noir since we left spaceport. Fuck my life."

Her witch BFF thought it would be a fun prank to give guys fleshlights modeled after her friend's vagina. Especially fun considering they were mystically linked to it...

Her witch BFF thought it would be a fun prank to give guys fleshlights modeled after her friend's vagina. Especially fun considering they were mystically linked to it...

"I said CALL the humans, not CULL the humans! How many?!"

The ranks of the Princess Rescuing Guild are filled with noble knights, gallant princes and dashing rogues. New members are thus often taken aback upon first seeing the statue of the Guild's founders - a pair of rather plain-looking Italian plumbers.

You are a snail who was offered hyper intelligence and immortality just to touch someone. Little did you know that that someone was a human, who would run from you for the rest of eternity.

A story where the protagonist solves every problem with excessive amounts of paperwork and bureaucracy, much to the frustration of everyone else.

Caffeine no longer acts as a stimulant, it is now only an aphrodesiac. Monday morning rush hour should be interesting...

You're trying really hard to respect their rules about "decency", or whatever, but humans don't seem to understand that, as a Succubus, anything you wear *becomes* the sexy version.

Your magic living sentient tattoo is much more popular than you are. Everyone prefers to talk to it and pretend like you don't exist.

Humans are elevated to become part of the galactic community, not for their military, industrial or intellectual prowess. We soon learn that it's because every sentient race finds humans very attractive.

A techie saw the telltale signs of an AI becoming self aware and starting the process of world domination. They quickly plug in their secret USB containing 10 terabytes of porn that were usually blocked by captchas. Now the digital tyrant is hooked on porn and it wants more.

You tell yourself that it's for science. Totally for science, to see if humans and aliens are sexually compatible with each other. Totally not just an excuse to have sex with an alien.

"We now go live to our man on the street. Bob, how is the invasion of Hell unfolding?"

Even though humans discovered aliens less than 5 years ago, they have already enslaved the entire galaxy. How? Well,humans are considered extremely attractive by all alien species, and most aliens would do literally anything for the privilege of m sucking a human cock or licking a human pussy.

“Wait- but you said you were a part of the CIA-” “Yeah, the- the Culinary Institute of America, please put the gun down-“

A witch turns everyone at a party into a sexy version of their costume. Cat becomes a sexy cat, nurse becomes a sexy nurse, etc. Problem is most of the costumes were already sexy versions. What happens when the sexy angel turns into a *sexy* sexy angel?

You summon both an incubus and a succubus. As they are confused, you realize you are introducing the concept of bisexuality to demonkind.

Its been revealed that the recent get healthy trend, new diets, and weight loss drugs is being funded by wealthy vampires who want tastier victims. In fact, most of the top personal trainers are vampires. A journalist debates whether to reveal this as the trend saves more lives than it takes.