Comedy Writing Prompts

The witch cursed the princess so that no man would love her. Unbeknownst to the witch, the princess is lesbian and is glad to finally be rid of her annoying suitors.

You are a Superhero, one of many in your city. There's a local Supervillain, who always plays up the comedic side of his vast incompetence, to the point that you and your fellow heroes enjoy seeing him. Today, a new, cocky Superhero killed his minion. The Supervillain's reaction shocked you.

You’re a mimic. You were disguised as a clock when an adventurer decided to take you as loot. You’ve actually managed to enjoy your live ever since as furniture in a small, local tavern. When some ruffians decide to rob the now elderly adventurer however, you finally reveal yourself.

"I'm two halves dragon." "But that's just...a dragon." "YOU'D THINK SO, WOULDN'T YOU?"

There is a forbidden type of magic out there. It isn’t forbidden because it’s inherently evil, or forces you to lose your humanity, or requires human sacrifices - it’s just forbidden because it’s annoying as heck to fight against.

"We shall defeat you villain! With the power of friendship!" "I have friends too you dick"

You sell cursed weapons and market them as enchanted. Most people who visit more than once do so in an attempt to return their weapon, but today a rather chipper adventurer has come back to ask for an offhand weapon to go with the cursed blade they purchased yesterday.

You are the villain of an anime. Not because you’re evil, or extremely annoying, but because you wouldn’t let a 6’8 12 year old boy with a voice deeper than the ocean and that looks to be 30 with battle scars, into your school.

After battling your way to the final boss, you see… the merchant that bought your extra items? Anything you sold them can and will be used against you…

"so you are telling me, that you, a super genius super villain, is just here to rob the bank, no deep plot or philosophical metaphor about society, you just want the money?"the hero asks, "thank god"

"What do you mean the humans REJECTED our declaration of war?! That's not how that works!"

You have a single superpower, and you're not even aware of it. You're a Jinx. Specifically, you're a consequences based Jinx. If something someone will do is going to negatively affect you, bad luck afflicts them in such a way that they can't perform that action. The supers community all know.

You were supposed to get hydrokinesis. However, due to a typo, you got hydrakinesis instead.

A mob boss is making veiled threats, but the person on the receiving end of the threats can't read between the lines leading to increasing exasperation on the end of the mob boss

As a child, people believed your ability to talk to animals would make you a fine veterinarian. Funny how you got into the extermination business instead.

You angered a witch, and in retaliation, she transformed you into an unmovable tree in a public park. Months later, she returns with the sinister hope of reveling in your suffering, only to find that you are not only surviving but thriving and happier than ever before.

Humans are often abducted as exotic pets for aliens. One day, your owner enters with a book and starts trying to speak your language.

You accidentally listed yourself as an "Infernal Medicine Doctor" instead of an "Internal Medicine Doctor" on your resume, now you keep getting request from the underworld to go help cure demons with ailments of all kinds, let's see how far this new life takes you.

"Do you know who usually wins a magic duel when it turns into a fistfight? The answer is: the magician who first realises that the duel has turned into a fistfight."

The new employee is clearly a mimic attempting to fit in. Everyone is aware of this, but the mimic is just so innocent and precious that they just accept them.

"You left your excess carbon in a wet environment and let it bake by a star? Come on man... you know that's how you get humans! Do you want humans? They're probably already inventing Reality TV at this point. Go take care of it."

"Honey, you know we dont have a child right?" "Yes i know, but the demon is behaving and has good grades, might as well play along"

“Mom…Dad…I’m…” “Gay? We know sweetheart. And we still love yo—-“ “No I’m—“ “Trans too? Oh don’t worry dear we always kind of knew…” “No for the love of god I’ve been turned into a vampire!!”

During the renovation of your living room you hire cheapest designer avaliable due to lack of funds. But when you come back to twitching raw muscles covering the walls and bloody heart in the chandelier you realise they might have misunderstood the assignment.

Your workers always ask “Why do you put a self destruct button on your inventions?” Tired of their questioning, you decide to explain why it’s perfectly rational.

You invented a machine. Paper bills get dropped in, seeds dispense from the top. The local crows quickly discovered the wondrous vending machine and youve been getting an easy 500 a week in passive income. The police haven’t caught on yet, but today there was 500k in the machine.

You are the evil overlord. You've ruled the world with an iron fist. But after you quit being an overlord as you couldn't deal with all the paperwork, a clumsy young female hero burst through your door every day claiming to end your reign. This is her 58th attempt.

Unbeknownst to the villagers, that nuisance of a dragon was actually protecting their village, so when it showed up and yelled “I have been protecting your village for over 15 years, why do you keep sending dragon slayers after me!?” at the mayor, they were very confused.

After the Villain finished their Monolouge stating their True Motivations, the Hero asked a very unexpected question, "Wait, why are we fighting then?"

A dog witnesses something that we humans consider perfectly innocuous and normal, but to them is horrifying. Write from the dog's perspective, don't reveal what the normal thing is until the end.