Situational Comedy Writing Prompts

The genie says, "There are 3 restrictions. No wishing for more wishes, resurrections, or love." You make your wish. The genie says, "There are now four restrictions."

You have developed a reputation for being an expert matchmaker. Whenever you're around, people who meet each other end up falling in love. But what no one else sees is that Cupid has been trying to shoot you with an arrow for a long time now, and all you've been doing is dodging them.

You and your twin brother were adopted by different families. He ended up to becoming a supervillain, so every other day, while going about your business, you get beaten up by superheroes. It is time to put an end to this…

"Why is it that you can never spell my name correctly?! It's not even difficult. Are you stupid?!" The customer berated the cashier. "Our barista is a fairy. I'm making sure she doesn't get your name. Don't worry I'll make sure I get it perfect next time. Have a nice day"

Elves have never been affected by narcotics, making elves incredibly judgmental of human drug use. However, one special human drug is the exception, affecting elves far more than any other creature: caffeine.

A supervillain is trying to get his wife to the hospital, but the superheroes are intervening because they believe he has kidnapped her.

A member of the Thieves Guild is trying to sneak into a noble’s castle, but she’s dummy thicc, and the clap of her ass cheeks keeps alerting the guards.

"It took me a long time to get your father to propose, I dropped hint after hint. As humans like him say 'if it was a snake it would have bitten him'...so one day I bit him. And that's how we got engaged."

The next generation of world leaders have their own hobbies for stress relief as they all log-in to their favourite mmo. It just so happens that they've ended up in the same guild in the same game but have no clue as to each other's real identity.

You are an entity that feeds off all negative emotions, and so you did the only logical thing; you got a job at a call centre.

"Stop, or people will think you are flirting with me!" When he told this to his hot tomboy best friend, he did not expect her to blow up at him. "I AM FLIRTING WITH YOU! I HAVE BEEN FLIRTING WITH YOU LIKE A HORNY BIMBO FOR THE LAST SIX MONTHS YOU WONDERFULL MORON!!!"

It's been two months since i started dating my new girlfriend, However she panics when she accidentally reveals that she's a werewolf. It was hard to Explain that i already knew and even harder to explain that i was into it.

You sell magical items. For some reason, none of your customers seem to understand that invisible cloaks are meant for keeping people warm without hiding more fashionable clothing.

Dracula has been slain by a vampire hunter. But what's going to happen to his estate? An estate lawyer has been charged with going through the documents of the vampire's many properties, and finding out what goes where. This includes a very, very long will and testament.

You're a fraud. Your parents are wizards, your siblings are wizards, but you are not. However, the wizardry school still sent you an invite - apparently, they didn't know you weren't born with powers. So, now you're trying to fake your way through school just with stage magic.

You accidentally summon a demon from the underworld. Surprisingly, the demon is just as terrified of you as you are of it.

When you attacked the Demon Queen's castle you tought you were prepared for everything. The maid costume took you by surprise anyways.

At first you just took it as humility but hearing "I'm just a normal person" after they killed a dragon the size of a mountain range, it's starting to piss you off.

If we die today it will be-" "you said that the last 3000 times the loop repeated, SHUT UP"

Their new butt plug had an interesting feature: Proximity Vibration. The more people using the same toy in close proximity, the more intense the vibration. Well, it's not like there'll be that many fellow perverts in their daily routine, right? Right?!

"You left for milk 15 years ago. You'd better have a damn good explanation."

The magic The gathering club was confused when the cheerleaders turned up. The head cheerleader sighed, "Technically, you guys count as a sports club. And *technically*, that 'tournament' you won counts as a championship. So... I guess you get to bang us this weekend..."

She thought she was signing up to be a sales girl for magical sex toys and lewd potions. She didn't expect to have to demonstrate them, never mind being a test subject for new ones!

A female vampire selects her next victim in a club. However, the encounter would not go as she expected, thanks to her victim's naivety and innocence of the real world.

You, a werewolf, are forced to work the night shift. You really can’t afford to lose this job, so you go to work, determined not to maul anybody and hopefully keep your identity a secret.

"What the hell was that?!" "Affection." "Disgusting! Revolting! Absolutely horrible! Do it again!"

The machine was supposed to scan all of the notes and textbooks on her computer and upload them to her brain, to make her the perfect student. She didn't realize how much *porn* was also in the scan...

When the Princess made a declaration to fuck whoever took the dragon down she didn't expect it to be a trained team of twelve mercenaries.

"I don't care if you feel naked without it, you can't wear 2 tons of power armor and weapons at a wedding!"

You find out your roommate makes rent by moonlighting as a minion for a cluster of villains. Unfortunately, he broke his leg, and rent is due very soon, not to mention the villains have his address. So he asks you to do him a solid and wear his costume...sadly, you really need the money.