Situational Comedy Writing Prompts

My new partner at work is the worst! They won't enter buildings without invitation, says they've got a sunlight allergy so I have to work night shifts, and if you drop anything they sit there and count it impulsively. It's the worst!

"Honestly, the only reason I'm firing you is so you can get unemployment benefits, because after this I'm heading straight to the HR office and handing in my two weeks."

"Do I look like the kind of person who can be reasoned with?" "...Yes?"

After enough break ins and bar fights a bartender has learned that it is actually a lot cheaper to just get mimics to be his tables than to replace them constantly. They also make for one hell of a security

You never intended to be a supervillain, you just wanted to own a business. It’s not your fault that all of your employees took your directions the wrong way and now you’re having trouble explaining this to the hero sent to kill you.

You, a powerful demoness, have just been summoned to Earth. This man, this human, wants you to pretend to be his girlfriend for a few days so his parents will get off his back about it.

Ok, that's it. You don't care what happens anymore. Enough is enough. You take your standard issue time rewinder and set it back 20 mins just so you can win an argument with your wife.

The Fey was confident that they had the human now due to them eating their fey food, until the human pointed to the empty mint wrapper, "you just ate human food."

"We are grateful you stopped the villian from destroying the warehouse," HR coldly stated "But being that you also represent Boot Barn we need to let you go for being involved in a violent fight. Do you have any questions?"

"Look, I can't be the chosen one! I'm a single parent! I've got two kids that need me, I can't be off saving the world, I'm barely making ends meet as it is! Give me ONE reason I should even consider this!" "... free childcare while you're gone?" "... Keep talking."

Four roommates are extraterrestrials who have taken human form in the hopes of learning about Earth’s culture. Unfortunately, each alien is from a different planet and believes the other three are normal humans.

In a world where the consequences of murdering someone is them coming back the next day completely fine, you accidentally shot your best friend with a gun. The next day, you and your friend have an awkward conversation in an elevator.

You gave the last of your food to a poorly disguised mimic, but now it wont leave you alone. It's even turning itself into various items to help you.

"the mat clearly said NOT welcome!" i explained to the vampire.

On a random day everyone is given a super power based on what they were doing in that moment, people who were reaching for something can now stretch like elastic, people who were running now have super speed. You really wish you were doing something else when it happened...

As a young witch, you have recently made a deal with a devil. In return for power, you must become his servant, the concept of which greatly excites you. At the end of your 5 years, you find that by “servant”, he didn’t mean an agent of justice who torments sinners, he simply needed a maid.

Vampires are real and have lived publicly in society for decades, but they're still played by humans in movies because real vampires don't show up on camera. A director who prides himself on authenticity has a vampire on set to make sure the actors are portraying vampires correctly.

Due to rising tensions, humanity and the alien empire have decided to make peace with a political marriage between a prince and princess of the two species. The empire isn't aware that mankind doesn't have a singular prince, but the world will pretend, so you're picked to marry god-knows-what.

You have just been hired as the janitor at an academy of magic. This is of course the most prestigious role in the entire academy. As you are required to have extensive knowledge on everything magical in order to handle any contaminants, mutants, demons, etc.

The most demoralizing pre-battle motivational speech ever.

You are an angel, angels have only one rule when a human calls your help you must come. One day a human called you to come into the room of a teenage boy to fight the "gay evil" from his closet. So you go, what happens next none of you expected:

An order of magicians attempts to summon a child hero with a pure heart to save their world from evil forces. They instead get his 40-something-year old dad, with a shotgun.

“Uh, I’m a vampire. I bit you, and drank some of your blood, which means you should be under my control.” “Hahaha, you fool. I am Fae, which means that, technically, you ate some Fae food, and therefore should be under MY control.” “Alright, fine, how do you want to settle this?”

Each sinner has their own personal hell, based around their sins, their failings and their fears. However, due to a divine mix up, you're now in someone else's personal hell, and need to pretend you're being tormented so no-one finds out.

A alien empire is currently trying to figure out how a primitive ship managed to destroy their finest battleship. In turn, the human space pirates are trying to figure out why this random ship had such a piss poor hull and why it was trying to attack them with such horrible lazer weaponry.

A failed author accidentally summons a demon into their house. Instead of wanting their soul, the demon shyly requests a signed copy of the only book they've ever written. As it turns out, this demon is a huge fan of their work- and he's not the only one.

You are the only human employee at a company staffed by a multitude of alien species. Your colleagues seem to be having a difficult time properly understanding who, or what, your guide dog is.

You’re one of the worst supervillains of the century, and everyone fears you. Everyone except a certain Make-A-Wish child who has just requested to meet you.

You soon learn why the aliens have asked for you specifically. They aren't aliens, they're your dumb friends and their prank has gotten REALLY out of hand.

The empress sentences you to be thrown to "The Beast", a giant doglike monster. She recently got a new Beast when her old one died. The Beast turns the corner and turns out to be a puppy. You're not food. You're a babysitter.