Comedy Writing Prompts

What arr you trying to say? That you *don't* want to participate in the government-mandated "dommy muscle mommy" program? What are you, some kind of fool?

No one knew this new brand of "one size fits all" sports bra would cause the wearer to slowly grow to continuously bustier while wearing it. Yes this based on the sports bra meme going around.

“This isn't what it looks like, I swear!” Somehow, your girlfriend believed your absurd explanation for why your cock was in her best friend's mouth.

A fairy tale involving a beautiful cum-guzzling princess, who unapologetically loves cum! But there’s LOTS of whispering about her among all the fair maidens in the royal court. Some can’t believe it, and disapprove — but others admire the princess, and who are even a little jealous!

You’ve been cursed to start dancing whenever you hear music. Well screw them, you’re going to turn this into a positive.

"Welcome to the 2024 Paris Fairy Tale Olympics! We've got some real tough contenders this year. America is coming in strong with multiple monsters, third sons and youngest daughters, but Zimbabwe is rumored to have an athlete who's both the 7th son of a 7th son and the 13th child!"

Gleefully, you load a shotgun as you walk to the villain’s base. “I’ve been waiting forever to do this!” You say as you play “New Noise” on your phone.

Whoever said absolute power corrupts absolutely has obviously never met Gary.

A man buys/inherits a dungeon after it was cleared by adventurers but more people keep showing up to take his things. He discovers the magical books and artifacts the previous owner had and learns to use them over time. Now he has become the bad guy on accident when all he wanted was solitude.

You work at a pet shop that, unbeknownst to the general public, caters almost exclusively to various supernatural entities. Today, Lucifer Morningstar himself walks in the door, requesting an emotional support animal for his depressed son, the Antichrist.

You just learned why the chicken crossed the road. All those years ago, on that fateful day...

You are a new necromancer in Chicago who just escaped the Inquisition due to a new union law letting you use the undead for free labor.

Write a story about the most clumsy and dumb assassin who somehow manages to get the job done.

“This is the most dysfunctional dynamic ever!” “It is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had.”

The hero is in need of a new sidekick, but this kid just doesn’t fit their theming… or their aesthetic.

"How the hell did you manage to get drinking blood as a tax write off?"

“Ain’t no f-ing way.” Conquest said. “There’s no way you’re the new horsemen of war.” She repeated to the preppy pastel Femboy stood in front of her Death and Famine.

Using our Tomboy Friend as payment for Pizza - "Lets save money and have her just blow the guy!" Was supposed to be a joke. But when the doorbell rang and you drunkenly started to pull your shirt over you head. We didn't know whether to stop you or cheer you on.

Write something with no sex, but is absolutely riddled with innuendos

You and your rival are called into the boss' office. Your boss explains how everyone is getting tired of the office rivalry and think the two of you should get a room to get the hate out of your systems.

Competitive sex becomes a discipline for Summer Olympics.

When the college decided to try out coed locker rooms, some people were worried it might lead to "misbehavior". However, the girls volleyball team had already decided that This was a feature rather than a bug!

The curse cast on the Halloween party was read wrong. They only figured that out when they noticed the costumes of the women at the party begin to get tighter around their chests.

Honey, your father and I are worried. You dress like a nun, haven't been on a date in months and you don't even masturbate much. That's why we're sending you to Slut Camp.

ENF, A young beautiful mom chases her kid into a slide at a park and gets stuck mid slide. The parks department makes attempts to pull her out but only comes up with her shirt, bra, jeans, and panties. Finally, they oil up the slide, and the naked mom pops out to a cheering crowd.

"Not again..." she moaned as she jumped up and down in another set of too small tights, before adding them to the growing-by-the-hour pile of bras, panties, tops and bottoms that was going to goodwill. "...I'm not even thirty, how can I possibly have caught the MILF Flu?"

A shape shifter mimic / slime likes to prank her friends by pretending to be clothing or toys...

You, in a cocky, confident manner, decide to challenge your more naive friend to a strip game in hopes to humiliate him. Well the game eventually happens and its a clean sweep though to your chagrin unfortunately.

Everyone knows: "Opposites Attract." And as such, government bodies are always filled to the brim with romantic tension.

You've been reincarnated 10,000 years into the future, with all your modern day knowledge intact. It's time to tell these "historians" how wrong they really are about the 21st century.