Comedy Writing Prompts

"Hi, my name is Amy, and I'm a spermaholic. I was hoping to come to this meeting and say I hadn't sucked dick in two months, but this morning..."

The naughty and nice lists still exist for adults the punishments and rewards just get more "creative."

After losing a bet, she had to be her friend's maid for a week, including wearing a skimpy French Maid costume...

There's a Waffle House famous for being the safest Waffle House in the world. Why? The owner does not tolerate any sort of bad behavior. EVER.

You are brought into a world where magical strength is determined by how fast you can say and create incantations, you are a battle rapper

An 80’s sitcom bully is transported into the 21st century and is in for a rude awakening when he tries his usual tactics in his new environment

Let me make this clear, this is not a cult. You provide a service to us and my client will offer some supernatural benefits in exchange. No chanting or preaching, just simple business. So get rid of those robes and we can start talking.

"What are the odds of you winning the superpower lottery and having the powers to warp reality?" "Very low. Probably zero." "Right, but wouldn't it be cool to be friends with a horny reality warper?"

"Hi, I was told to meet here to apply for a job. Is this the secret organization that contains and studies cosmic horrors?" "No, that's the next city over. This place deals with cosmic eroticism."

A parody version of the Truman show but the world is based upon porno tropes.

You are a highly successful EMT. Never had a patient die in the wagon. You just discovered that it’s not skill… it’s necromancy.

“Sir! The squirrel has a knife! I repeat, the squirrel has a… scratch that. The squirrel has a shotgun. The squirrel… it has acquired a rocket launcher… you’re not going to believe this, but it has stolen a tank Sir!”

The Hero keeps accepting all the various faustian bargains without even considering the downsides for a heartbeat.

There’s a rumor going around that your dick can bring good luck. It’s gotten out of hand very quickly.

You are adbucted and probed by the most incompetent and clueless aliens imaginable. Their probing machine is a rickety, malfinctioning piece of shit that buzzes and shakes and makes a bunch of damn noise when you turn it on.

And the Goddess looked upon what her creations had done and said "Okay, what the fuck, people?"

You, a human, made a bet with a fae to beat them at a game of their choosing. The fae is trying their best to explain the rules to you, but non of it makes any sense

"May I come in?" "No." "Please! I just want to talk!" "Don't care!" The vampire became peeved at this. ".... And what if I brought brownies?" "......"

People eventually learned that the wish-twisting Genie was very devoted to his job. That's why they started wishing for terrible things, so that he'd twist them to be good. All you had to do was pretend that that's the opposite of what you wanted and he'd never catch on.

“You don’t understand, it was fight or flight and chickens are flightless birds”

"Their science fair project just destroyed most of downtown!!" "So... we're thinking first prize?"

Well, it seems you've bested me. You're gonna take over the world anyway, wanna have a quickie before you finish your mad quest for power?

Casual sex is boring, that's why I watch the pro league! What goes on at the 2024 professional sex draft?

A Bunny girl struggles to describe the relationship between rabbits, eggs and chocolate. She decides it's easier if she just shows you.

I tricked a demon, now I have two souls, what the fuck do I do with them? Maybe I should have planned that out...

While using a laser pointer to play with your cat, it finally happens. Your cat catches the red dot.

"Just a heads up, if the boss ever hears you say the phrase "what's the worse that can happen", he will shoot you."

For you, a lover of horror media, being haunted by a ghost is a dream come true. Ironically, though, the ghost finds the stories you like so much to be incredibly scary.

After its discovery by aliens, Earth has become the galaxies hottest destination for sex tourism. Apparently we're pretty hot.

“This is for the sake of the people…n-not because I like it…”