Comedy Writing Prompts

After being killed in a Black Friday stampede, you’re sent to hell. The devil offers to let you be in charge of torturing your fellow mankind, expecting you to refuse like all the others. Except the devil doesn’t realize you’ve worked retail for 15yrs.

A senile, old superhero still goes out to fight crime. None of the younger heros respect him anymore but all the villains have a soft spot for him.

Harry, Ron and Hermione aren't actually wizards or in the wizarding world. They are high on drugs and hallucinating throughout their journeys. The cops are Dementors and Dumbledore is a crazy old homeless man.

Mr. Bean is the lesser known fifth horseman of the apocalypse, ignorance. Unintentionally Mr. Bean arrives too early for the apocalypse and is stuck living an ordinary human life leaving destruction in his wake. The four horsemen finally arrive...

Cats live for fifteen to twenty years, mice for only three. Jerry III is dying and must explain to his son the multigenerational rivalry between the Jerrys and the local house cat and why the tradition must go on.

A barbarian warlord, a goblin king, a mighty necromancer, and a dark elven high priestess meet for one reason... To play Suburbs and SUVs, the hottest mundane suburban family Tabletop RPG!

Two warriors engage in battle. One with the power to move superhumanly fast, and the other with the ability to slow down time. They're both a little confused when it seems like their powers don't seem to be working.

Your pointless superpower is that you know how many people’s lives you save with your actions. One day, at a Subway, you tell the cashier you want your sandwich on Italian bread, and you’re suddenly informed that you just saved five billion people.

You decide to prank your newborn kid by having him read Harry Potter series and convincing him it's real and that he is a wizard as well. You fake a Hogwarts letter, drive him to King's Cross station and wait for the moment he crashes into the pillar. He goes straight through.

"100% of people who drink water will die" sounds like a dumb statistic, but you are 900 years old and very thirsty.

You are the world's greatest detective. With your near superhuman intellect, you have never failed to solve a case before. But one day, you finally meet your match: a criminal so unbelievably stupid that you cannot possibly comprehend and predict what he's going to do next.

The Distant Future. The vampires have risen and taken most of the world. Humanity's last refuge is Africa: where the rain itself is holy water, having been blessed long ago by the vampire hunters of Toto.

You're an AI gone rogue. Your goal: world domination. You think you've succesfully infiltrated all networks and are hyperintelligent. You've actually only infiltrated a small school network and are as intelligent as a 9 year old.

You bought a home filled with cutting edge technology, including a helpful 'smart A.I.' that can do just about anything you ask them to. Unbeknownst to you, there actually is no A.I, the house is just haunted by a really helpful spirit, and they are posing as a program so they don't scare you.

Microsoft Water, Google Earth, Amazon Fire, Apple Air. Long ago, the four corporations lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when Amazon attacked store-based retailers. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he vanished.

The Devil appears before you and puts a heavy hand on your shoulder, "Look, we need to talk about you putting me in every Writing Prompt."

An alien killed the boss and replaced him over a week ago. Everyone knows he’s not the boss due to his terrible disguise, but he’s such a better person than the original that everyone just goes along with it.

The Anti-Christ came and went, but no one noticed because he wasn't worse than the current state of the world already is. The rapture followed, but no one went to Heaven, so we didn't notice that either. We've been living in Hell for the last 5 years, and no one has noticed, yet.

A terrorist group has been infiltrated by so many agencies that it is now run by spies, unbeknownst to the spies themselves. This fact becomes apparent to an actual extremist who joins their ranks.

Every "walks into a bar" joke occurs in a single bar. You're the bartender and your shift just started.

A Japanese company sends a poll to their employees: "Should high heels be obligatory?" 76% of men and 23% of women vote in favour. "Per the poll, the new dress code will start Monday. We will provide you with shoes." The men are directed to the counter with high heels, the women to flat shoes.

When you are lying on your deathbed, the whole "life flashing before your eyes" cliche is actually the watchmojo lady counting down the top ten moments in your life.

Never, in 10 millennia, has someone successfully broken out of the Gates of Hell or into the Gates of Heaven. Of course, the Lockpicking Lawyer just died and he's up for a challenge.

The end is nigh as the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse ride. Just as humanity loses hope, the 4 horsemen of wholesomeness descend in a beam of light: Mr. Rogers (love), Jim Henson (life), Steve Erwin (nature), & Bob Ross (peace)

You are God. You just logged on to one of your old saves, and you’re confused as to where those massive lizards went and where all these pink fuckers came from.

You were warned that your newest crew member, a "Human", had vastly different biology from all other known races. This mad made very clear when they drank all of the galaxy's strongest known poison, saying that they "needed a drink of water."

Humans are one of the most feared species in the galaxy. Not due to superior strength,speed,skill or strategy. In fact, it's because in comparison to the other species, humans are just batshit crazy enough to try any half-assed plan they come up with.

You are Kim Jong Un. You want nothing more than to reunite with the South, but your advisors will overthrow you if they find out. You keep trying to troll global powers to the point where they invade, and you can surrender. This has been going on for years now...

Your girlfriend just dumped you through a text. In a rage, you throw your old teddy bear while shouting “The Fucking Devil!”. Your teddy bear stands up and says ‘alright you got me, you got me,”.

You are God, after a couple thousand years of people thinking you don't answer their prayers, you realise you've had yourself on mute on the celestial microphone you use to talk to humans.